Weekend Weigh-in

I’ve been overweight for most of my life. I have had cycles where I’ve eaten way too much and cycles where I’ve eaten way too little. It’s time for me to find a balance.

Still, I’d like to look over the past year. 2009 was a rough year for me, weight-wise, and it took me a looong time to figure out why. I think I have finally figured out the reason: I started taking hormonal (progesterone only) birth control. In January, I weighed 163 pounds. By the summer, that had risen to 190, and I had gone from being overweight to being obese.

At first, I didn’t pay much attention. When I started to gain, I attributed it to eating at restaurants more than usual because I had a new boyfriend. But 27 pounds in six months…

190 was the most I’d ever weighed (by 3.5 pounds), and I was depressed. I felt like I had lost control over my weight and my body. I had been working out some — not as much as I should have been, but not little enough to average a pound gain steadily every week for six months.

I began watching my diet more strictly. This, combined with working out and my temporary pizza delivery job (I was on my feet constantly, and I rarely ate the food) helped me stabilize. However, I was not just avoiding pizza; I was using my job to avoid eating. When I had a few days off, felt poorly, or overate because of other reasons, I seemed to gain multiple pounds in mere days. I had never felt so powerless over my weight.

Finally, I wondered about the hormones. This seems to have been the problem. I’m still taking them (although I have switched from the mini-pill to the shot, I use the same type of hormone), but this fall I seemed to finally have leveled off. I think that my weight has stabilized after my body adjusted to being on these hormones. Now I begin the long journey of losing my weight from last year and going even further to get healthy.

It bothers me that I’m starting off over 10 pounds heavier than last year. Still, I’m glad that I finally feel like I have control over whether I lose, gain or maintain my weight. That makes the difference. I know that I can keep pushing myself now because I know my efforts will continue in whichever direction I push them toward.


As much as I love school — and I do! I am working toward my Master’s degree — I feel ready for a break. Not a vacation, but ready to get a job in the “real world.” I may someday go after those lovely three letters, but for now, when I graduate, I’ll be looking for a job.

And that’s cool. School is supposed to prepare you for a career, right? I just feel like I need a break after so many years of higher education. I have felt overwhelmed for several days now, and I don’t have my first class until Thursday.

I don’t know why I’m so stressed out. I’m taking as many hours as I did last semester, and I did fine then. Still, I stress. I stress and eat. Even my tongue feels irritated because I have been overeating so much (maybe it is scratched up from too many rice cakes?)!

et cetera